So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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