so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
