I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
