You really coming over, don't trick.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My vagina just recognized that song.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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