i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
