Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
did i walk over a car last night?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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