haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
