I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
