me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
