Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
