So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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