i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You know, be my cock's hype man.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
