oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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