I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
