Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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