He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
