I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
