Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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