my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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