WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
