I don't think brook has ever known best
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
