my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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