Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
