Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
