I heard we made out
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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