Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize