I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
