I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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