Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
