My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
