We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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