So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
