I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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