this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
