He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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