idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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