hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
