maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
