Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
