If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
