How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
