i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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