I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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