Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
