laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
