If i come over, it means nothing
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
