so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
