i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
