Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
