I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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