there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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