I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
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