your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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