I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
