I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
