only if we run a train.
done.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
