forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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