i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
