It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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