I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I don't think brook has ever known best
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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