he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
