wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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