You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
