worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
