Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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