Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Randomize
