i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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